Friday, June 7, 2019

My presence making him uncomfortable

My father isn't coming to the bed to sleep because I'm around. We are in Ghaziabad to attend a family function, and just the two of us have come here. Now we're back to the hotel, and he isn't sleeping on the bed but is sitting on the sofa, despite me requesting him twice to come to the bed and sleep. My feeling is that his dislike and hatred for me is so high that he doesn't want to sleep next to me. If this is so, why did he take me along to Ghaziabad at all, I wonder? I am feeling so hurt and devalued at his behavior towards me that I'm feeling like buying a new, separate room for myself so that as soon as I leave, he can comfortably sit on the bed, and I can come out of this nonstop insult and sleep as well. He's not even making any effort to not let it be visible to me that he's trying to avoid sitting next to me on the same bed. It's sad and bad but then I cannot let anyone hurt and abuse me on a continual basis, even if that's because that person happens to have a weird kind of personality, bordering a mild illness.

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