Saturday, February 24, 2007

today i came out of a week long vicious cycle- and i feel good about it

today was a good day for me. today i realised that for last 1 week, i had been in a special vicious circle. i dont know exactly what to call it- a catch 22 situation or a deadlock [a haven't thought deeply about it, but am sure if i think ill be able to tell] or simply a vicious cycle. out of the previous 7 days, on the 1st and 2nd day, i skipped many meals- i probably took just 2 meals in those 2 days, and that too in hurry. the result? lack of energy, sleepiness, lethargy etc. i would be able to work less, and hence whenever time for meal came, i would skip it in favor of working. the lack of energy, made me work still less, and made me feel more sleepy and made me sleep more, and this further worsened situation. in last 7 days, i took just 5 or 6 meals, out of which i ordered 3 from outside because i did not want to waste time going to mess. and since yesterday, the situation was such that i was continuously lying on bed. when it was breakfast time, i did not take it because i was too sleepy, weak and felt better lying in bed in my quilt. when lunch time came, i again skipped it because i was too weak to get up. this was the vicious cycle- to get energy, i needed food, and to get to food, i needed energy. neither was with me. finally, today noon i started introspection. i thought about what all is happening and why it has happened. i realised that none else is going to help me out, or do anything about it- its me alone who has to get myself out of this bad schedule and food cycle. with this realisation, i jumped out of bed, brushed my teeth, took a heavy lunch with extra butter, and later took bath, went out and drank juice, got my hair and beard trimmed, then ate curd, bananas and gol gappas. and now i am going to eat tasty gobhi ke paranthe.

finally, i am out of the vicious cycle, and i dont wanna go into this again. i will make sure that i dont skip meals, since food is indispensable for humans. its like our fuel.

later today, i was also thinking more about this vicious cycle phenomenon. some examples came to my mind.

- a person stranded in jungle, who is hungry and getting weak. he knows that a few kilometers away there is food, but falls down due to weakness in middle of path. to get to food he needs energy, and to get energy he needs food. the situation will keep getting worse with passing time, because his falling energy will decrease the probability of him being able to get to food. i think there can come a time when his energy is below some threshold level so that probability of him being able to reach to food drops to approximately 0

- a patient suffering from severe digestive disorder and malnutrition. unless he eats food, his system wont get repaired, and his current situation ensures that if he takes food, the disorder worsens. such a person, if alone, can hardly do anything unless an external agent provides support. this somewhat shows that a person left alone in situations like these will continue to remain in this state, unless an external agent intervenes. newton's 1st law of motion?

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