My presence making him uncomfortable

My father isn't coming to the bed to sleep because I'm around. We are in Ghaziabad to attend a family function, and just the two of us have come here. Now we're back to the hotel, and he isn't sleeping on the bed but is sitting on the sofa, despite me requesting him twice to come to the bed and sleep. My feeling is that his dislike and hatred for me is so high that he doesn't want to sleep next to me. If this is so, why did he take me along to Ghaziabad at all, I wonder? I am feeling so hurt and devalued at his behavior towards me that I'm feeling like buying a new, separate room for myself so that as soon as I leave, he can comfortably sit on the bed, and I can come out of this nonstop insult and sleep as well. He's not even making any effort to not let it be visible to me that he's trying to avoid sitting next to me on the same bed. It's sad and bad but then I cannot let anyone hurt and abuse me on a continual basis, even if that's because that person happens to have a weird kind of personality, bordering a mild illness.

The rafoo / rafu on my jeans is a reminder that I need to work more, earn more [COMPACTIDEA]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darning

Update [2.11.22]: Each year when I go to buy Diwali fireworks - and this has been especially true in the last few years - I'm reminded of my/our financial constraints. When we have to forego fancy aerial crackers because they're too costly for us - I'm reminded of the limitations of our spending power. This year this realization was so stark - I had exhausted all the budget and didn't have spare money to buy fuljharis [sparklers] and Cock's Jil Jil. Apni asli aukaat pata chalti hai.

Update [8.12.22]: I'm down to shoes that cost INR ~500. Till a few years back I used to buy shoes costing INR 1200-1500. What's wrong with my spending power?

I now feel that there might be some kind of God in this Universe [COMPACTIDEA]

I've always / traditionally rejected the presence of God based on the absence of any tangible / visible evidence [although I did at times wonder about the creator / meaning / purpose of our Universe if there's no God after all].

Lately, however, as I've come across some photos that show the sheer vastness of our Universe and that our own Earth is almost zero in comparison, I've felt humbled. I've started to wonder far more deeply about who might have created this Universe, its galaxies, the stars, the planets, the laws that govern all of these bodies, the nature of time, the nature of human intelligence, and so on.

In particular, when I recently looked at the photos of Uranus and Neptune [embedded below], I almost felt for a moment that there must be some kind of God somewhere. It just shouldn't be that such vastness, such enormous amounts of matter and energies, such distances, such "long" time periods, and so on, exist without any creator. Very difficult to understand.

Update [9-May-19]: Looking at the unbelievable vastness of a tiny portion of the Universe in this Hubble video, I feel even more strongly that there could/should be a sort of God somewhere.